So you have been invited for a round of drinks and then the India vs US discussion begins. There is so much pollution in India, corruption is at the peak, women are being insulted, law and order is a mess, there is no hope from the government and it goes on and on. I have been through countless such discussions with not much outcome. To the point that they become so mundane that you can write a book on it. So let me pause you here. Comparing India with a developed country such as the US is as incorrect as comparing Usain Bolt and a 8 year old in a race. It's a classical apple to orange comparison and I would urge you not to waste more time on such discussions. Trust me, they don't go anywhere.
India is an extremely different and diverse country. It would be unfair to compare it with any other country for that matter, let alone the US. And keeping a historian view, it's a fairly young country -- 60+ years old. Post-independence, a number of historians had a view that the country would disintegrate shortly. Ramachandra Guha discusses a number of these issues in 'India after Gandhi' and I would urge you to read the book if you care to know important events that happened post-independence. Complex problems such as untouchability, rights for women, equality etc. take more time to fix than one can imagine. A lot of these reflect in the daily issues the Indians are facing. Freedom is a necessary condition to solve these problems but not a sufficient one. Just to give you some perspective, it took almost 100 years for the US (post-independence) to get rid of slavery, ending in a Civil War. Again, I dare not make a comparison and say where India will be in 100 years (technology will play a huge role in expediting), but I want you to think about this perspective the next time you engage in any such comparison debate.
Michael Sandel, a philosopher and professor at Harvard University, recently discussed how as a society we have tried to monetize everything around us. Material goods are easy to tag a value upon. For instance it's easy to measure the standard of living in the US in terms of the car you have or the extra square footage of your house compared to urban India. But how do you measure the quality of the time I spend with my grandmother, the festivities of Ganpati in Maharashtra, the joy I see in my son's eyes as he watches Dahi Handi, the happiness my parents get as they play with him or the much important needed presence on my part when Mom or Dad is in the hospital? Till we find a rational way of valuing such emotions, it would be a subjective and a personal decision about how much value we wish to attach.
To me, such emotions mattered much more than the car I drove or the higher standard of living I enjoyed back in the US. I approached the 'decision making' initially with a pros and cons, or a checklist approach, But what I found is that it doesn't work. Precisely because of the unknown value of emotions. There is no right and wrong here. At the end, it's your decision as long as you are happy with it. In some, like me, it's a conscious call. But being bodily present in the US with your heart in India cannot be a long term lifestyle choice. I went through this phase for some time and decided that moving back was the right thing. The urge was so strong that it faded all the doubts.
India is a developing country and there are problems -- a lot of them. But don't be biased in describing or judging a situation. If you spend 2 hrs in the Indian Embassy in New York to renew your passport, you complain about it saying it's "sarkari". But when you spend 2 hrs for your visa in the US consulate in Mumbai, do you have the same feeling? Or for that matter at the DMV office, which sucks big time for the record! And if you are an idealist, and want to eradicate corruption from this planet, please consider moving to Netherlands or something, let alone India. Scandals and corruption in India aren't going to magically disappear; so don't plan your move dependent on that. Yes, corruption in India is a premium processing channel. And philosophically, if you object to this thought, it will only be more painful when you get here. Also, issues such as safety, law and order differ vastly between different cities in India. So don't base your judgement on the national data. You didn't move to the US looking at employment numbers in Iowa, right? When asked by some, if I was moving back to India, I denied and said. No, I am moving back to Pune. Trust me, they really can be two different things. So before making macro conclusions, do your due diligence about the city you are targeting for the move.
I plan to follow up this post with "The One Way Ticket" detailing my experience after I returned to Pune in July 2013 (after 9 years!). Most likely, it will be a concluding post. Your comments are much appreciated. Also, please do me a favor. My intention is not to offend anyone. Your decisions are yours to keep!
